you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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