Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
