i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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