Your tits are I can't wait for
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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