He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
