just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
