my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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