My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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