Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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