there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
