if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
