shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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