Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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