I just made out with a guy for $7.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
