paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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