Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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