i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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