I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Randomize