i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
