the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
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