Soap is not a condiment
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
so much tequila, so little girl.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
