She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
