O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
