she woke up with a sticky ear
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I just blew my weed a kiss
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
