Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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