You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
