On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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