is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
