I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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