i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
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