Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
