Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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