i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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