She just used a chaser for red wine.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
