hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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