so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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