k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
