I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
It's blow job season.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize
