I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
