I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize