why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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