I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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