its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
