But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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