Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
i out mim tonsoeep
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
