hotel room ftw
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
