i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
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