My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
