you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Randomize
