Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
