I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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