i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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