i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
