Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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