he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
pop tarts are not kleenex
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Randomize
