what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize