The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
