What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize
