hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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