i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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