Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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